not dead.

If you haven't figured it out, the interviews are up and you can hear them in the red box to the right of this column.

We interviewed Phil of All That Remains on Wednesday and we're interviewing Keith Buckley again as well as Thrice tonight. And on Monday we're interviewing Confide, Showbread, and hopefully Maylene & The Sons of Disaster.

Busy week.

Warped Tour Interviews

This is a deceptive subject line I know. Because I'm currently 2 hours from our radio station we cannot edit the 7 interviews that we conducted whilst at this year's Warped Tour stop in Buffalo, NY.

But what is relevant about the subject line is that we do have interviews in their rough form, and they will be edited and uploaded online as soon as we can get our hands on some decent equipment.

What are those interviews you ask?

Michael Carden of The Academy Is...
Keith Buckley of Every Time I Die
Matt Engers, Adam Engersa, Nick Vombrack, and Andrew Morrison of Dr. Manhattan
Matt McGinely of Gym Class Heroes
John Warne and Jon Schneck of Relient K
Arif Mirabdolbaghi of Protest the Hero
Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat of All Time Low
Alex Kent and Parker Case of Say Anything

Dark Knight Review

The follow-up to the action hit Batman Begins, The Dark Knight reunites director Christopher Nolan and star Christian Bale, who reprises the role of Bruce Wayne/Batman. With the help of Lieutenant Jim Gordon and the committed new District Attorney, Harvey Dent, Batman sets out to destroy organized crime in Gotham City for good. The triumvirate initially proves to be effective, but they soon find themselves prey to a rising criminal mastermind known as The Joker, who thrusts Gotham into anarchy and forces The Dark Knight ever closer to crossing the fine line between hero and vigilante. Academy Award nominee Heath Ledger portrays arch-villain The Joker, and Aaron Eckhart plays District Attorney Harvey Dent. Maggie Gyllenhaal joins the cast in the role of Rachel Dawes. Returning from Batman Begins are Gary Oldman as Lieutenant Jim Gordon; Oscar winner Michael Caine as Alfred; and Oscar winner Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox.

I feel I should start this by saying, "Believe the god damn hype." Nolan has made the best superhero film, and Batman film hands down. You know nothing about how deep, intense, shocking, awe-inspiring, and beautiful this movie is.

What hasn't already been said about Ledger's performance I sure as hell couldn't think of something. The best performance in a comic book film. No one comes even close. He is a completely soulless "mad dog" as Harvey Dent calls him who has been let loose on Gotham. There is no empathy for this man. You laugh at some of what he says, but it makes you go "What the hell is wrong with me", afterwards. Remember in Batman: The Animated Series episodes with the Joker when he would be 5 steps ahead of everyone, and when you find out what he's been planning the whole time it makes you go, "Ah fuck"? Well think of that, but all the time. He is always ahead of everyone, yet he draws in the audience in every scene he steals. It is impossible to remember that the man underneath this cackling maniac is a deep voiced Australian man who was in 10 Thing I Hate About You. Ledger is the Joker. It would be a crime to not give a nomination of Supporting Actor to Ledger.

But to only give credit to Ledger would be a disservice to the ridiculous amount of talent that this film holds.

Christian Bale takes the screen with his three characters (Batman, Bruce Wayne: Playboy, and Bruce Wayne: Person) and flows through each of them perfectly. He is the hero that Gotham deserves, a battered, tortured hero, who has found his limits. Bale brings the audience into the ethical and moral questions that must be posed when it comes to his role as a hero. He does so expertly.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is a huge step forward from Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes. She is much more real and down to earth with the character, making her more interesting and likable, whereas Holmes portrayed the character as holier than thou, unsympathetic, and plain unlikable.

Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine come back with their usual of being really good. Gary Oldman surprised me by bringing A LOT out of Jim Gordan that was not there in Batman Begins. It will be interesting where Nolan takes the character from this film.

And finally is Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent. I wrote on a message board a month ago that when Dent falls (not a spoiler really, in other news water is wet) it is going to rip the hearts out of everyone in the theater. Eckhart brilliantly plays Dent, showing a side that I have never seen from him in his other films. When Two Face is in the car with Maroni and he flips the coin for Maroni's life and then goes to flip it again I thought, "Oh god please don't repeat Batman Forever." And then it was for the driver's and it made that scene really awesome.

In the same vein we also have some fantastic and beautiful cinematography and a fresh and bright screenplay that brings out the best of everyone.

It's very hard to talk specifics without giving tons of spoilers, but to give an excellent example of what Nolan has created: As the first third of the film that establishes our characters, their current situations, and setting up the basic structure of the plot, things go about in a very Batman Begins style with very quick editing, steady pacing, constant music, and jump cutting. This is almost to show a Batman that has grown accustomed to a Gotham that is steady, albeit slowly escalating. But once the Joker is arrested everything changed drastically. The cuts are much longer, the music is many times non existent, the pacing is much more drawn out, and the edits are fewer. This is a Gotham that no one has chartered before, and things are about to get extremely hairy.

I feel that I have to end by saying that all of the preview footage: the 12 clips, 20 tv spots, 3 trailers, HBO special, interviews, and a partridge in a pear tree, barely cover a fourth of this film. Even the scenes that you might have seen with the footage are not what you expect, and I have to applaud the marketing people for really going out of their way to catch us by surprise.

I'll be seeing this again tomorrow probably. I have been waiting for 2 years for this film and it blew away all of my very high expectations. See this movie for the love of God.

I cannot do this right now with any objectivity. I am total geek at this point.

Rating: 10/10

Hellboy II Review

The Golden Army begins when an ancient truce existing between humankind and the invisible realm of the fantastic is broken; Hell on earth is ready to erupt. Hellboy 2 tells the tale of a ruthless leader who treads the world above and the one below, defies his bloodline and awakens an unstoppable army of creatures. Its up to the planets toughest, roughest superhero to battle the merciless dictator and his marauders. He may be red, he may be horned, he may be misunderstood, but when you need the job done right, its time to call in Hellboy (Ron Perlman), and the B.P.R.D.

The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (BPRD) will travel between the surface world and the unseen magical one, where creatures of fantasy become corporeal, along with his expanding team pyrokinetic girlfriend Liz Sherman (Selma Blair), aquatic empath Abe (Doug Jones), and protoplasmic mystic Johann Krauss (James Dodd), the newest member of the BPRD. Hellboy, a creature of two worlds who is accepted by neither, must choose between the life he knows and an unknown destiny that beckons him.

A slip-up results in the F.B.I. being forced to reveal the existence of BPRD to the general public. Brash old Hellboy doesn't play well with the public, which only increases the instability of his already-turning-rough relationship with Liz. However, fellow paranormal Johann (who is a sort of ectoplasmic spirit held within a very special containment suit) is far better with the public -- and with Liz, apparently. But in the end they've all got to come together to fight Prince Nuada(Luke Goss), who, with his army of ghouls, faerie, and the like, is attempting to resurrect a golden army once controlled by his father.

Credit: IMDB (waflynn)

Opinion: I feel that I should start this off by saying that I have never seen the first Hellboy, although I fully intend to, but not because of this film.
Let's start with with positives shall we? All of the action scenes are very well done. It's nothing we haven't seen before, but the choreography, timing, CGI, and placement of the action scenes are all very well done. The tooth fairies scene in particular was one of my favorite scenes of the film.
The other aspect that people will be talking about is the costume design and visual effects. Hellboy II comes through in spades with visual effects that live up to Guillermo Del Torro's reputation for the bizarre.
The cast is where things start to go a bit off kilter. Not all of it mind you, but parts. About half of the cast is great. Rob Perlman is standard fan fare as Hellboy and doesn't disappoint. Jeffrey Tambor steals every scene he is in. His awkward stammering is one of the necessary comic relief devices that were necessary for a film that had far too many (more on that later).
But my favorite character in the film was easily Doug Jones as Abe Sapien. I wish there was a film primarily about him, since I find him to be much more compelling that the Hellboy/Liz fiasco that dominates the film.
Which is where things go downhill and fast. Selma Blair is sleepwalking through this. I swear there must be cue cards off screen because there is nothing genuine in anything she says. Seth MacFarlane's German voice for Johann will have a lot of people talking, but I have no idea why. It's the same voice as the fish in American Dad. His character is supposed to be an unlikable dick but his voice is so naturally comedic that nothing he says is taken seriously (which is another thing we'll get to later). But the reason to fast forward when this comes on DVD is Anna Walton as Princess Nuala. My...God. It's painful to think about, and not in the cliched way that pompous reviewers blast a moderately good performance but focus on a couple of flaws and then exaggerate them with dramatics. I'm one hundred percent serious when I say that Anna Walton's performances is the worst thing that I have seen on screen all year (not counting Bio-Dome for health reasons). She's a wooden puppet with a shrill, ridiculous voice that cuts in and out of her own and her characters. It's almost funny to watch her fail so bad.
Speaking of failing badly, let's talk about the pacing. Again, I have not seen the first, but I had to ask my friend afterwards if the first one had a ludicrous amount of excess stuff going on at once, with none of it having a purpose. The introduction of the BPRD in particular is all over the place, which would be great if that was the intended effect, but I kind of got the hint that things are weird when I saw the blue guy in the tank listening to Vivaldi, I don't need 8 more CGI pans of other weird things that flow so oddly that I lost everything that Abe and Tom say to each other in the beginning, which was apparently pretty darn important.
Or the one hundred different plot directions that are thrown at us. Hellboy isn't liked by people, which should throw that in there, but only have it brought up 4 different times and have it not mean anything at all. SPOILER Let's have Hellboy get stabbed, let's go to Scotland to fight the Prince, and find some extremely random appearance by the Angel of Death who literally rasps gibberish that somehow means that Hellboy would doom humanity if he lives, thus giving Liz a choice of either Red or the world. This would have been great had it been posed to us in the beginning of the film, but instead it is completely thrown away as an afterthought. END SPOILER
What would also normally be pretty darn important for a film is tone, of which this movie has none. It comes off as a convoluted mess that tries to be an engaging action film, a sci-fi thriller, and a comedy and fails badly when all three counteract each other. There's some great laughs between Abe and Red, but they make me go, "Who cares?" whenever something of consequence happens to either of them. The fight between Red and the big plant monster is awesome, but then Nuada shows up and tries to convince Red not to kill it when there is no real conflict of whether or not to kill it. The drama, romance, and thrills are all very half-assed compared to the comedy, which does not make for a great action film.

Rating: 5.5/10
The whole time I spent watching this film I was saying to myself, "God damn I wish I was watching the Dark Knight." As a superhero film in an age where the genre is transcending the stereotypical brainless popcorn fest (Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Batman Begins, X-Men, X2, The Dark Knight), Hellboy doesn't and takes a couple of steps backwards. The film throws whatever to the wall including genres and hopes something will stick. Now, I did find the film to be quite fun as the action and effects are great, but there was far too many flaws for me to fully enjoy it as a story.

Batman: Gotham Knight Review

The latest in DC's line of direct-to-DVD films, Batman: Gotham Knight serves as a a glance into what happens between the events of Batman Begins and the highly anticipated The Dark Knight. Batman: Gotham Knight shows six short stories, with six different writers, directors, and animation crews, all done in the style of Japanese anime.

Have I Got a Story For You
Oscar nominated screenwriter Josh Olson (A History of Violence) tells the story of how chance encounters with Batman by a group of youngsters leave each kid with a very different impression of the Dark Knight. Much like the Batman: The Animated Series episode "Legends of the Dark Knight" and Batman #423.

Opinion: BGK starts off in an interesting manner with a story that most fans of Batman have heard before. Three different kids tell three vastly different encounters with Batman. These include Batman as a paranormal specter of sorts, a creature much like the Man-Bat, and a robot. While I can respect the Olsen's idea, it is very easy to tell that the man has not written a Batman story before. Things seem far too upbeat and unnatural for this to be Gotham City and for this to be a Batman story. The animation and direction is very well done, and most of the voice actors do well, but things just don't fit as well as they could. This was not the best start to this set of short stories since it is so painfully out of place.

Segment Rating: C-

Crossfire
Written by Greg Rucka from a story by Jordan Goldberg, Crossfire brings the character of Crispus Allen to the Nolan universe and shows Batman in his most bad ass way. A gang shootout between the Russians and Sal Maroni's gang catches Detective Allen and Ramirez in the crossfire (heh) only to be saved by the Dark Knight.

Opinion: Gotham City is shown in one of its purest forms, as a dark, seedy, underworld where the only hope its people have lies in a very scary vigilante. We also find out about what has happened to the Narrows since its destruction in Batman Begins and it works very well. The animation and directing here is dark, muscular, destructive, and cool. Greg Rucka shows us why he's been writing comics for years with a simple, yet extremely effective script that plays on the different character's strengths. Kevin Conroy in particular here is very short and to the point, but it's euphoric to hear that man's voice again.

Segment Rating: A-

Field Test
Writer Jordan Goldberg showcases the incredible high-tech arsenal Batman commands and reveals that there are some things even Batman won't do in his pursuit for justice.

Opinion: A very practical story that shows Batman almost like James Bond with Lucius Fox acting as Q. While this is one of the more upbeat stories, it is unlike "Have I Got a Story For You" in that you can tell that it is a Batman story based in Gotham. The only real complain that I have about this story is the actual gadget itself, it's too unrealistic even in superhero terms, although I do love Batman's reasoning for not using it. I'm also a big fan of the use of Batman as a mediator of the mob even when he can't take it down completely, much like he was in the No Man's Land storyline. The animation is once again drastically different, with every male character having that "emo" hairstyle and the Batman cowl being a bit ridiculously large, but the plot and script is able make you look past those flaws. Kevin Conroy once again shows us why he has played Batman/Bruce Wayne more than any other actor combined. He simply points the slightest inflection into his voice and it is genuinely like Wayne and Batman are two different people. Kevin Michael Richardson, who plays the Joker in The Batman, also does an admirable job as Lucius Fox as that rare someone that Batman can trust.

Segment Rating: B

In Darkness Dwells
Written by David Goyer (Batman Begins) from a story by Jordan Goldberg, Batman ventures into the Gotham sewers to face Killer Croc a deformed thug who seems even more monstrous after The Scarecrow returns with his fear toxin.

Opinion: This is definitely the darkest story and I freaking love it for it. The animation is slightly crude, but then so is the subject matter. The only thing that I wish is the there was a follow up to Croc and Scarecrow because they're so awesome in this short vignette.

Segment Rating: A-

Working Through Pain
Award-winning comics writer Brian Azzarello explores an early chapter in Bruce Wayne's training, showing how a mysterious and exotic Indian woman named Cassandra introduced Batman to techniques that would help him to conquer the physical and spiritual consequences of his actions.

Opinion: Remember those awesome episodes in Batman: The Animated Series where he fights the samurai (Day of the Samurai, Night of the Samurai)? This is a lot like those. We see Bruce Wayne on a quest to reach the peak of human physical and mental perfection as he tries to master his control over pain. I love the study of Bruce Wayne as a spiritual warrior and this story just plays that so well.

Segment Rating: A-

Deadshot
Alan Burnett--one of the most acclaimed writers on the Emmy Award-winning, Batman: The Animated Series--ties together threads, as Batman must thwart the assassin Deadshot whose love of guns and disregard for human life lets him cross lines that even a Dark Knight won't traverse.

Opinion: This is the reason you should buy this DVD. Deadshot's introduction is just absolutely beautiful that I've replayed it about ten times since I've seen it. We also see Batman as more of a detective and a brilliant tactical fighter, who knows that he has to be five steps ahead of his opponents at all times. I wish this final segment was a whole separate episode or movie, but then I love Deadshot as a villain. This is also a new take on Deadshot as a wealthy socialite who kills for a living. You may remember him in Justice Leage as a sleazy double crossing bastard played by Michael Rosenbaum who does a very accurate Kevin Spacey impersonation, or as the suicidal near perfect assassin who wears a bright uniform in the hopes that someone will finally end his pain. This film's interpretation is a much more two dimensional character but that works for him
as he is portrayed as cold, callous, brutal, and without mercy.

Segment Rating: A

Final Opinion: I've been anticipating this release almost as much as I have been for The Dark Knight. I will say that BGK upholds expectations that admittedly are a bit high for Bruce Timm, but then he has earned those expectations. While by no means is this perfect; it is a beautiful experiment in the world of Batman and a fine addition to the DC Animated Universe.

Final Rating: A-

5/13 Movie Review

Depending on your mood, you may love this B horror movie cluster fuck or absolutely despise its existence. Myself and Jerebear fall into both categories. I hate it for its God awful script that calls for stunts that they could never pull off with the budget they have and horrifying terrible dialog that has no sense of irony to it, which only makes it worse for that. An example, the script calls for a tree to fall down, so to show this they show a still of a tree, and then tip the still to the right to simulate the tree falling. I guess they blew their budget on their car scene where a car flips over onto the ground. Oh wait there was supposed to be people on that? So they put dead people under it, where there was clearly nothing there before. I mean, even a simple camera trick could solve that, but that is lost on this dynamite crew.
Jerebear on the other hand applauds it for its terrible use of...everything, saying that he had a fantastic time laughing at this, while I cursed this film's existence.
Granted, I was watching this after being awake for 48 hours straight, so I was cranky, but still. I find no redeeming characteristics in this god forsaken film (although a neat nipple scene saves this from oblivion)
3/10

5/7/08 Tooth and Nail Review

Apologies for the lack of entries, but we have primarily been doing interviews for the past month.

"In a post-apocalyptic world, a small group of survivors, who call themselves Foragers, plan to rebuild civilization from their headquarters in an empty hospital based in what is left of Philadelphia. But they're soon forced into a face-off war with the Rovers, another gang of survivors whom are a brutal gang of cannibals. As the Rovers take out the Foragers one by one, the Foragers must draw on all their resources to stay alive."

Shot well, admirable gore, but the misuse of the talents of Madsen and Vinnie Jones makes me want to cry. The main cast (especially the blonde) are just awful save for Rider Strong who is doing what he's always done (feigning emotion by adding a str...(read more)essful inflection to his voice). Why have the two biggest names in the film (Madsen and Jones) relegated to sidekicks of complete nobodies?! This, plus god awful writing and laughable plot, makes this yet another bad film in the tradition of shit that the 8 Films to Die For is famous for. 4/10 and goes on the Poop List, invented for movies such as this.

In other news our interviews with Thursday, Finch, A Girl A Gun A Ghost, and This Is An Empire are all online. We will be interviewing Anthony Green later today, which should be online before the summer is upon us. All the best.

4/15/08 and The Mist Review

"After a violent storm attacks a town in Maine, an approaching cloud of mist appears the next morning. As the mist quickly envelops the area, a group of people get trapped in a local grocery store -among them, artist David Drayton and his five-year-old son. The people soon discover that within the mist lives numerous species of horrific, unworldly creatures that entered through an inter-dimensional rift, which may or may not have been caused by a nearby military base. As the world around then manifests into a literal hell-on-earth, the horrified citizens try desperately to survive this apocalyptic disaster. " (IMDB)

For those who argue about the CGI being bad, congratulations you just missed the point. The Mist is by no means perfect but it has the sense of creating a very dangerous atmosphere wherein even the safe havens are just as bad as the outside (which i...(read more)s arguable, because the monsters will fuck you up). The Mist comes through in spades with gore, camera work, and overall story. It definitely has its flaws however. Some of the characters are extremely stereotypical and shallow, but to that I ask, how does any horror movie portray a rather shallow human antagonist? The nature of the ending is also a point of debate. Personally, I love its depressing delivery and tone because it forces the viewer, who was just agreeing with David's decision, to through the similar heartbreak that he is experiencing. Expect to think a little about this one. This is by far superior than your average horror film. 8/10 and the NOLF stamp of approval.

NOLF Playlist for 4/15/2008

Arsonists Get All the Girls - Shoeshine for Neptune
From Autumn to Ashes - Death Cult Social Club
Finch - Worms of the Earth
The Warriors - Life Goes Cold
Destroy the Runner - The Aleph
Annotations of an Autopsy - Human Dust
Between the Buried and Me - 3 of a Perfect Pair
Enter Shikari - Labyrinth

We played our interview with Johno of Sky Eats Airplane and played the new Annotations of an Autopsy. We just conducted our interview with Remi and Cameron of Arsonists Get All the Girls, which was....awesome.
We have interviews set up for Finch (Friday), Fall of Troy (Monday), Thursday (Monday), Dethklok(Wednesday), A Girl A Gun A Ghost, and Fallen from the Sky.

4/8/08 Playlist and Sleepaway Camp review

Sleepaway Camp (1983) was made in the heyday of the 80's slasher/stalker craze. "After a horrible boating accident kills her family, Angela, a shy and sullen young girl, moves in with her eccentric aunt Martha, alongside her protective cousin Ricky. One summer, Martha sends the kids to Camp Arawak. Soon after their arrival, a series of bizarre and increasingly violent accidents begins to claim the lives of various campers. Who is the twisted individual behind these murders? The disclosure of the murderer's identity is the most shocking climax in the history of American cinema." (IMDB)

This is the quintessential Mystery Science Theater film. I won't lie to you, it's horrible. The acting is amateurish, uninspired, and painful to watch. The script must contain the words: "will ya" at least 4 times a page. But I have to be honest, I recommend this film 100%. I guarantee you will have a great time with a group of friends while watching this.
The ending, which I won't spoil, left our mouths on the floor. We've watched countless horror movies, and seen just about everything. But we both simultaneously shouted, "What the fuck?!" I can imagine the writers as they come to this ending. "You know, this whole thing is pretty trite and unoriginal, what can we do to really fuck everyone up?" And there's your ending. 5/10, but receives the NOLF seal of approval for pure fun.

NOLF Playlist for 4/8/2008

The Ghost Inside - Destined
Vesania - The Downfall (Hamartia & Hybris)
Onesetcold - Life Without Numbers
Poison the Well - Letter Thing
This Ending - Plague Angel
Sky Eats Airplane - The Opposite Viewed in Real Time
Immortal Dominion - Punishment
I killed the Prom Queen - Sharks In Your Mouth
The Red Death - Godless
Caliban - Songs About Killing
Dead to Fall - Womb Portals

4/1/08 Playlist - Decoys 2 Review

Decoys 2 (2007) is the "long awaited" sequel to Decoys (2004), that continues the story of an alien species disguised as beautiful women, who attempt to mate with young college students. Unfortunately, the anatomy of these Decoys is sub zero, and freezes their potential mates to death. Luke Callahan, our hero from the first film, is back and tries to stop the aliens before they destroy the town. This co stars Tobin Bell.

When we first reviewed Decoys, we called it an abortion to film, and one of the stupidest movies we had ever seen. So we took that mindset, and came to the realization that Decoys 2 is quite fine with being a piece of crap, but it's far too damn funny to not recommend it for a Bad Movie Night. 4.5/10 for the unintended humor and boobs.

Playlist 4/1/08

New Dead Radio - …From the Leaning Tower
Walls of Jericho – No Saving Me
Dismember - Europa Burns
A Girl A Ghost A Gun – A Lizard In The Lights
Emmure – Rough Justice
Powerglove – Tetris (Themes B & C)
Eyes Set To Kill – Sketch In Black & White
The Agony Scene – Deliverance
Nodes of Ranver – Endless Faith
Coheed & Cambria – Gravemakers & Gunslingers
A Different Breed of Killer – Liberation of a Giant
In Flames – March to the Shore

This week we featured the new Emmure and In Flames. We have an interview with Sky Eats Airplane coming up and eventual phone interviews with As Blood Runs Black and Four Letter Lie.